It's time to welcome a new year.

Well thank god that 2009 is almost done!!!! This has been a very hard year for many people in my family and our friend's . Mom and i have been haven alot of health problem's and i need more surgery back in july and thank's to this world's health care system i almost lost my life . But i am still the care taker for both my mom and dad and i have to also have to take care of myself.

But something's have gone well i have gotten a pain mangment doctor to help me with this chronic pain from the EDS, FIBRO, CFS . he changed my pain pill's and changed my other pain med's and it seem's to be helping and i hope i can keep it under wrap's . I also have manged to get my headache under wrap's but some thing is telling me i will need to call my doctor because i have been getting small headache's.


But all and all i hope 2010 is a better year.

Good hope's for 2010

Well with just a few day's felt in the year i hope next year will be better for us all. With mom's health and my health i hope this will be better for us and with dad i hope he will get better too. Thank's to my once stupied sister and her big mouth i will not be talken to her any more because what she did is unforgiveable. and dad is not speaken to her but i mean he has five other kid's and not one of the give's a dame about if they mess up christmas like they always do.

we all slepten in on christmas day and that was nice and we all got up and watched some tv then we all ended up fallen asleep. so we had our family dinner so that is about it for christmas.

no christmas sprite

Some people can be nice all year round and then there are the people who love to hurt you!! i have a face book account and stuff that i use to talk to my eds friends and to keep up with family well someone in my family was posten very hurt full thing's and i foumd out they were about me .

they said ( i am so sick of hearn about how hard you life is, you don't do anything at all to make it better.) and this came from someone that i really loved so we found out who had said it and then i got an text message that said i am removen you and i nevre want to hear from you agian.

so i have one thing to said to that person and that is SCREW YOU !!!!!

November - The month of EDS

November 3,2003 was a day that changed my life forever. That was the day we were told that i had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. In some ways it was a shock to us and in other way's it was not many years had gone by and mom always knew something was different about me and she knew something was not right because i was getting hurt all the time and no one was able to tell us why but now we knew why we knew i had EDS but little did i know how it would change my life.


7 years have pasted and it has been a living hell for us all. Me haven to be in and out of the hospital for surgery's for problems from the EDS, Haven doctor's tell me that it's all in my head , friend's beening lost because of my illness and friend's dieing from it , and now haven a friend who is very sick because of eds.

But the thing that make's the hole thing so hard is that i went to USF on friday because my heart doctor was worried about EDS and heart problems . So i had this set up for a year so i go and the stupid doctor tells me that i don't have eds . I just sat there and cried for years i am told one thing and this person tell's me this without doing the test that my doctor asked to be done to check me for different types of eds.

I was alone mom could not come with me because she is not well so i went to the appt by myself and i am told that i am crazy!! that the pain i am haven is because of my depression and that i have no eds trates!!! My life is turned upside down i don't know what or who to beleave anymore.

So this is a life of hell...

New doctor today.

Well the day is here i go to my frist appt with my new pain mangment doctor later this moring my appt time is 10:30 but i have to leave here around 8-8:30. to get there because he is along way from us if anyone knows about florida i am in saintpetersburg and this guy is in brandon so its a long drive.



Iam happy to say that my headache's have started to go away after a month and a half ugh i was getting so sick of my head hurten me all the time and this was not one of those headaches were you could just go on with your everyday life this one was keepen me down . I didnot come out of my room much at all i mean for like the past two week's i have maybe come out of my room 3 times but that was to leave the house for other doctor appt's .




Well i got back home around 2:30 this afternoon and i was so wiped out i took a nice hot shower and a nap . so here is the update !!! This doctor was so nice and he knew about eds and stuff so he was asken me where my pain was today and luckly this was a bad flare day so he could see how it effected me . So he asked me about all my med's and i told him that if my current pain meds were helping me i could not feel and diffrent. So he changed my pain meds and he upped one by 100mg's . and he told me he wants me to have phsical/aqua therapy so i will call the place on monday.

So all and all this was a great today !!!!

The Climb ( a song by young Miley cyrus)

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get thereAin't

about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb...

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going..

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battleSometimes

I'm gonna have to lose'

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving,

keep climbing

Keep the faith,

babyIt's all about

it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Headache's

Its so weird i will not have a headache for like 2 months and then out of the clear blue sky i get one and it will stay for like week's or months . I went to the nuro and he want a scan of my head and he put me on a new med but it was not cover and so i am still with no headache med's and the doctor cancled my head ct . No one even called to tell us that and we were on the way out the door to go.

But i geuss i will see what happend's well i am going back to bed my head is killen me

~~~~~~*Pain*~~~~~~

This is something i wrote the other day when i was at the doctor's office


Why do i have to suffer alone in life
why must i fight this invisable fight everyday and everynight
Why must i lay in bed squrriming in pain unable to rest find my long to short day.

Why must i put up with people's give me dirty looks
It must be that they can't see my everyday fight. they judge me on my looks
and what i do why do you care it's not like its you.

I have many things wrong with me it's a given fact.
It must be it must be that you can't see what is wrong with me
So you seem to prejudge that.

I fight alone day and night this invisable fight
some people will never understand and that dose not seem right.
I ask god why must i suffer alone day and night
Why must i fight this disease all my life
why must i suffer in pain .

Everyday and Everynight.

By
Megan Tharp

Sayen good bye to my friend and new doctor's

Well my friend Brittany and i have been haven a blast and we have been running all over saintpetersburg. Going to the beach , the pier, and the old fort and the Mall.. It has been so much fun hangen out with someone who get's me and what i deal with . But the only thing is that its been very very hot and ugh that has been hell to deal with and i live in this heat all the time. brittany dose not i mean its hot where she is but not like the heat down here...

Here sre some of our fun pic's

we did our hair !!

we are oooh so thug ..

Here are some photo's of my pet's she took!!!

These are some pic's brittany took..

I know we are weird hehe....

The shells we found when we were at the beach hehe it was fun ! Some of the pic's from Fort De Soato beach and historical park. It was fun and we got so much sun burn..






It was all going great but when we got home from the beach i could not touch my ear's and its because they both were infected .....UGH i will not get another any thing like that done again. So we had to go down to the er for them to take them out Oh God that HURT.....


My ear's before they got to them!!!!Nurse Phile

Sad because they are going to take the new ear rings out.

Callen dad and told him the news

Where the wild girl's stay !!!

I know what you thinken what the heck is she talken about well saturday the 17th my best friend Brittany is commen !!!!

I asked her two year's ago if she would like to come and stay with us for a few week's and she was like yes!!! So last month i got her plan ticket can i told her that the dream trip was on !! I know she is worried about commen here and stuff because you see we have never seen each other we have only talked on the phone and on the web. I have to say i am a little worried to because i am scared that she will not like me but i know it will all work out .

So she will be here for 2 week's and thank god the weather is changen and getten alittle cooler so it will be nice . I do feel bad because she will be on a plan for like 5hour's but it will all be worth it just to see my friend for the frist time. I also know she is worried about money i told her not to worry this is a gift we both have stressful live's and it will be nice for her to get a way for a little while.

So brittany i will see you on saturday !!! CAN'T WAITE !!!

Yay and new doctor that can HELP !! WRONG!!!!!!

Well today was the day i would see if this new doctor could help . Well my appointment was at 3:15 and mom and i got lost going to the office when we got there its was 3:45. and the girls in the front were very nice and they said it was not problem. so i did the paper work and then we were showen to a room and we were only in it for maybe 5 minute's if that before the doctor came in ! I was like wow that was fast. so he came in and asked us what was going on i told about how i was haven a horriable time with typen moven my fingers and how they would slip out of joint..

Then came the question very one who was EDS had been asked !! DO YOU KNOW WHY THIS IS GOING ON ?????? I proudly said yes i said i have Ehlers ~Danlos Syndrome!! The doctor looked at me then at my mom and said in such plane word's OH!!! He said he has never heard of anyone haven EDS nor has he treated some with it !!!

My high hopes went down the sink like my sprite did 2 minute's before he came in. Any ways he asked me to show him my hand's and i said ok hopen that he would not kill them . Here are some photo's of what he asked me to do.

He had me pull my thumb back on both hand's to see how far they could go!! upper is (left hand)

here is the (left hand)

hand layed out flat finger's hyper flexed!!

Well if all that was not bad enough he started tryen to pull my fingers out of their joint's so he is pushen and pullen and bending my finger's every way they could go. He then said well i don't think your finger's have ever popped out because i can't MAKE THEM POPPOUT OF ALINEMENT!!!! My mom's jaw dropped i said well they do popout just because you can't pull them out dose not mean they don't .

So then i asked him about the ring splint's for them and he said well you can't wear splint's on all your finger's or all the time. So long story short i am not going back to him and i am going to have to find another way to get my ring splint's . Below are how my hand's looked when i got home ..

Fave song that helps me in hard times

I am a big David Cook fan and have been from the frist time i saw him on AMERICAN IDOLE. I listen to his songs on my mp3 player at night when i am tryen to get some rest but one song helps me keep my head up high the song is called (HEROS)

As the sun goes down in front of meIt reminds of me of where I want to beWith you and you aloneHold me in like you were made for meI'm losing faith in gravityI just need to let you knowAnd I just need to let you knowI'm not going to come downDown off of these cloudsAll these heroes come and goBut you're still standingYou teach me to rise upTo open my eyes upAll these heroes come and goBut you're still standingYou're still standingYou know the world's confusingI don't careI crawl into your atmosphereI know you'll make it rightYou're all I need to knowI'm not going to come downDown off of these cloudsAll these heroes come and goBut you're still standingYou teach me to rise upTo open my eyes upAll these heroes come and goBut you're still sandingI believe that you can save meAnd you'll never let me fallI'm not going to come downI believe in what you've shown meThere's ahero in us allI'm not going to come downDown off of these cloudsAll these heroes come and goYou teach me to rise upTo open my eyes up

Life sucks

Finally more News updates!!!!

Well the Amoxicillin i have been on now for over 3 weeks is finally taken hold of the Upper Restory Infection . Two weeks ago mom had to take me down to Bayfront because i was getten sick and my Doctor was out of the country and i called the office and they said that i could not get in so mom and i end up going to Bayfront ER because that is were they told us to go and well we got there are 10:30am and did not leave till 6:00PM !!!
So i was give a diffrent type of amoxillin to take and it did not help so mom took me to the walk in clinic last Thrusday because i was still sick as a dog and getten worse . Well it turns out i all also had a case of very bad tonsil infection so geuss what had to come out NOW!!!! Great another trip to bayfront in the next few months.
Not going to be able to see the pain doctor because the car's A/C wants to act up so there gose that trip.So no pain meds for a month or two because my medacare dosenot start till october so and there are no more pain doc's that will take what i have now so i have to waite.
But on the hole i am doing better i am all healed up from my last surgery the doctor is going to keep me in his system because he is really the only doctor that will do surgery on me because of the eds. Soo that is all i have to report for now ..
C-YA

You find out twho your friends are (WARING HAS STRONG LAUNGE)

I got a email from a so called friend last night i wanted to share it with you, I can't belive how hurt full the people you once thought understood you could be ...


Dear Megan.

You know i though we were best friends i call you up to hang out and you give me some stupid ass reason why you can't like your sick or your in to much pain ! Come on if you don't wanna hang out with me if then tell me and it would not be a problem but your not tellen me the truth and i know that there is no way your sick very week end and shit like that. Girl your such a fucken lier .

Your the worst frind someone could ever have , I wish i never got to know you, yes i tell all my friends about you and they all think your full of shit. I saw you at the store the other day with your mom and you looked fine your not sick you lien pice of shit!!!

I never wanna speak to you agian and i hope to hell your happy that you just lost a 2 1/2 year friend ship BITCH!!!

happy to be home

Well i got home late saturday and the doctors told my mom anddad that the Ehlers danlos did cause the herina so we hope it willnot make any more of them . Then a nuse at the hospital almostkilled me she gave me to much pain med's it is stoped my breathenso i woke to a oxygen mask and all of these nurse all around metryen to get me to breath.
So after that i was not able to have pain meds for 12 hours andthat was HELL.. But i am home and i am happy to be home but i will update more later

Starten on Wensday the 29th i will be at Bayfront Medical Center 701 6th St. S. Saint Petersburg, FL 33701. my surgery is at 7:30 am

Hospital main Phone 727-823-1234

Cell phone- 727-515-4990

so give me a buzz if you alike

We may be getten a new game plan going

i have a friend who is 16 and she has eds and we are good friend of the family and her mom told us to call and to find out about something called (Palliative care) this is something that hospice offers !! Yes i said hospice but that is not just a place you go to died they can help you with dealen with pain and for people like us that may just what we need ,they help you live your life better .

A long painful road ahead for me !

Well today started out like any other day for me and well that mean pain and more doctor appt's . well mom and i made a early moring run because i had to drop a gift off to a friends little girl at All childrens hospital ! well i was inside the store and i bent over then it happended part of my intestiens got twisted up in to one of my hernia's . Oh my god the pain was so bad i thought i was going to die the pain shot through me and in to my back , I could not sit stand or anything.

I got into the car and mom knew right then what was wrong i called the doctor and they told me to go to the ER even though i had only 1 hour before my appt. So mom ran me down to the hosptial and then she went next door to all childrens to drop off the gift. So i was in with the nurse at the er and this lady was just plane nasty to me she said ( well if you have a doctor appt in one hour why are you here !!!) I told her i called the doctor and he told me to come right down . Well after said was nasty to be i got up out of the wheel chair and said them to for get it because i did not need this crap right now.

So one of the men to take people to and from the hospital to their cars came and got me and mom looked at me i told her to forget it and so we called the doctors office and they said just to come down. So we got there i was not even in the door and one of the nurse came out and said come on back! So my doctor who is Dr. Huguet came in and told me that this has to be taken care of now !!

So i am going in for surgery on wesday the 29th of this month to have my hernia's fixed so that is my update for right now !

Some update

Things have been a little hard for me from june up to now. I went and saw my pcp (main doctor) last week and he asked me about my pain in my stoumach and i told him its not that bad but i am haven bad crampen and alot of gas and i have not clue why??? So he is senden me back to the doctor who took out my GB to see if he can help with my tummy!
Heart wise i am going ok i don't have to go back to All Childrens heart clinic till the fall which is a nice break for me i mean i love my doctors there but not this much lol!! But DR. Martinze is keepen a close eye on my heart and my PVS to make sure it dose not get out of hand!
Eye wise DR.Hess said that my eyes are ok and he can't find any thing to do with eds in my eyes which is good .
The bad news time. I am haven alot more pain and joint problems and my left knee is action up agian this is the same one i hurt 2 year's ago when i fell.Also i have to get 4 teeth pulled because the eds is maken my teeth very thine and they hurt so this happends on the 23rd of this month Can you say (ALOT OF PAIN OH GOD NOT LOOK TO THIS )!!!!!!!!
Now for the big trip in the fall i am going to go back to USF Medcial center and going to be Re-typed for EDS to make sure there is nothing funny going on i go there in november on the 7th i think .
Oh Mom and i are going to be interviewed by fox 13 news same time soon and its goign to be a thing on EDS . I took to on myself and wrote to the doctor who has a spot on the news and she said it would be a great ieda to do a show on eds. Not sure when it will happen but i will post when i know .
WOW I GEUSS THAT WAS ALOT (LOL)
C-YA ZEBRAGIRL OUT !

On T.V.

Big news my mom and i called the local news channel and they are going to do a story with mom and i about eds !! I don't know why it will be but i will update as soon as i know something

The worse friend!!

I feel like i have let so many of my eds friends down because i have not been able to be there for them and i feel very bad because of this . My health is going down hill i have 4 more doc appts this month still no pain doc appt. I have to get 4 teeth pulled because of the eds and then i have to go see a doc about my tummy for more surgery!!


To all my EDS FRIENDS i am so so sorry i have not been there for you . i am just really fighten to get up everyday.

Sorry took so long

Hey everyone sorry its taken me so long to repost but i have been haven a hard time . I have been in so much pain that i have been in bed for the past 3 days and i spent my birthday in so much pain i couldnot endjoy it . But i have been getten my headachs back so i have been so druges up and nothing is helpen . I called my doctor this moring and told the nurse that i want the number to the pain clinic .

So i hope he calls soon because i can't take much more of this pain. I have not been sleepen much at all and if i do fall asleep its only for like 1-2 hours. so i just wanted to pop in . My mom found a good way to help my dry mouth she got a snow cone maker from walmart and its been very handy


will but date agian soon.

New Stuff commen up !!

Sorry i have not posted more but i was in the hospital for 4 days last week !! i called my doctor because i have been more stomach pain and it was not leten up. So he told me that if got any worse to go down to the Er and mom and i said ok. So on June 2nd my uncle and mom ended up taken me down i was in really bad shape i could not walk , stand ,sit , or for that matter lay down .

So we got to the er and they started a I.V. can gave me some pain meds and then the doctor order a C.T. scan and x-rays with all the info in hand the doctor came back to the room and told My mother and i that i was not going home . My mom and i just looked at each other and we said why ?? The doctor said you have a Intestinal obstruction !! I just sat there with a look on my face that said WTF!!! she told us that my intestinal track was twisted up around my colon.

So my mom went home with my uncle and i was taken upstairs to my room and they have me on just I.V. fluids and NOP ( nothing by mouth) it was like that for 2 dayz and i was so druged up because i was in so much pain. Well around 5:30pm i geuss it became untwisted because i felt soo much better and i was able to use the bathroom !!

So my doctor come in around 10:30 pm that night and asked how i was feeling i said well a lot better but i am still very sore. With out missen a beat he said you will be for a few dayz .

Well i have not been out for a week and mom had to take me back to the ER on Monday because it happened agian and this time i had to drink four glasses of contrast ( that stuff is nasty ) and it was twisted agian and so they gave me some meds i can't rember what it was but it untwisted it so..

That is what is going on i do to my doctor in the am to see what the plan is

TOOTH ACHE

OMG when you have eds haven a tooth ache hurts worse then a normale one !!! I have a bear taped to my head to check my face warm ! the pain is so so BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Newest up date !

Hey everyone i am so sorry ihave not posted sooner but i have been sick and i have been very very down . Frist off i am out of my anit- depression med's and i can't get more beucase the mental health place is not going to carry the cymbalta anymore and then they gave me something different that i have tryed and its make me very very jumpy and i was breaken down and stuff like that.

So i have to waite till June 11th to go back to my (PCP) and see if he can give me the cymbalta agian because i was feelen pretty good on it . I am still haven trouble with my GI track and i have not been able to get to the GI doc because my health coverage has changed and i now have my medicade card so i i have to waite till june.

My pain (UGH GOD I HATE IT !!!) i am going to ask my doctor to send me to a pain clinc because the pain is getten so bad i am chewen on my lower lip and its all sore and bleeded and stuff. so that is not good . my lortabe is just not doing it any more and i feel so sick all the time and half of the time i do get sick !

I go back to the heart clinc on june 1st for them to check out my (PVS) and to see if my heart is ok from the EDS. but other then that i just try to take one day at a time because that is all you can do .. AND DUCK TAPE NEVER HURTS TO USE TOO ...

Not so good news :(

Well i went to the doctor 2 days ago and i found out some not so good news ... Frist off we found out i have 2 hernia's one is on the wall of my stomach and the other one is looped around my colon. Now i have to wait to see a GI doctor god only know how long i will have to waite. But what got me mad the most is that i had this CT scan done at the ER last month when my mom took me and I can't belive my Doctors office didnot call and tell me or have me come in sooner.

I mean its bad now but with the EDS that makes it worse. I don't know what to think anymore..

sorry this is so short but we have bad storms in the area so i will make it longer later.

Carzy Life....

Oh my god i feel like i have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off !!!! Between doctors , Er trips and more. Mom had to take me to the er last weekend because i was doubled over in pain becuase my stoumch was hurten so bad and we have found out that i have a ulcer..
So i have to stop taken some of my meds because they will make the ulcer worse but at the same time they are some of the meds that keep me going and that help with my pain. On top of that i am still waiten to get my new health card from S.S.. because my pcp wants me to see a stoumch doc and the health incs. i have now will not cover it so i am in hell so in the mean time my doctor gave me some thing called (carafate 1 mg) to help coat my stoumch and gi tracki have to take this before every meal and at night. and i was put back on (zantca 150mg ) two times a day.

My pain is getten worse and i need to see a pain doc which i will start next month i hope i have found one that will take me and he seems nice and he said he will do what he can to help me cope with the pain from the EDS, FIBRO, so that is nice to have a doctor like that . there has been talk about putten a med port in me so when i am in alot of pain they can just inject the meds but i will all so be on pain pills. and i will be going back to USF for more testing and to be retyped for EDS. because we know i have type 3 with type 4 overlay but my doctor and heart doctor want to make sure there is nothing els going on.

I am still able to walk (knock on wood ) becuase i have a lot of friends with EDS and its really i hate to use the word but its crippled them . I do use my cane and stuff alot more then i use to and i use the eleciitc carts at the stores.


well that is all for now ..
huges to all my friends..

New heart problem....

Well i went to the heart doc yesterday for my bp check and for my pvc's. I have been feeling very run down and tried lately so my heart doc did a ekg and bp on me and then i was called into his office. My heart doctor is one of the nicest men in the world he cares so much about me and all of this other clinic kids and adults.

Well anyways i found out i have some thing called ( Pulmonary Valve Stenosis) this is when the valve opens to let blood flow from the right ventricla to the lungs is narrowing . In my case its not very bad right now which is good but if it gets worse they will have to do one of two things and others are 1. a heart cath .or 2, heart surgery agian soo well will just have to wait and see what happends .

But about my pvc's these are extra heart beats and it gets very boredsome to me so i have to wear a loop heart monitor till may 7th . I can take is one off and on for showers and stuff so . Dr. M said he is going to wait and see what comes up before he dose anything he said we may end up putten me on heart meds for it so . that is the update for now .

Oh and i am sick agian soo that is all


bye for now

I WON!!

Well my day has come and i have finally won my S,S case !!! I can't belive it ! it's been 6 years and now i am soo happy . I will be able to go to doctors that i need to see have my med's all paid for . so i am just happy . i know this is short but i have the flu and i am back off to bed ..

Heart clinc @ ALL CHILDRENS HOSPITAL

Well i got to ach at 9:30 am and i got checked in to the heart clinc and they did my EKG and stuff but when it came to my Bp amd heart rate we had a big scare. My Bp was 160/100 that is very bad and my heart rate was 105 so they did it two times and it was the same so they put me in a room and then doctor martinze came in and asked how i was feeling . I told him i was feeling very rundown my chest was hurten and stuff and then he saw what i chart said ! I though the poor man was going to hite the floor he said your bp has never been this high . so he went and got the nurse and he said your not leaven yet we have some stuff to do .So i had to go to 3north on the other side of the builden and get labs and a chest x-ray STAT !! well i got them done and half way back to the office i got a very bad headach and so when i told the girls i was back i just layed down on the row of chairs and then they took my Bp agian and it was 158/90 heart rate 96. so the nurse told me to lay on the table and she turned out the light for me . Dr. martinze and Dr. F came in and talked with me and all my labs were ok but one my infulmation (sp) one was high so i am now on mobic for the chest pain and i just now got off the phone with the on call doc because my Bp is back up agian so i have a feeling i will be back at ACH on monday !! Oh and i am on a 24 hour heart montior till then too .. fun fun !!

Keepen Hope Alive

I try with all of my heart to belive that god has a plan for me , and that is why i must suffer but lately i find myself thinking that my life is more of a pain filled hell . I just can't understand why i have to suffer so much , what i have i done worng that god is maken me live a life of pain.My doctor's don't know what to give me to take the pain away, they don't know why i am haven chest pains , or why i am haven these headachs that have been going on now for 2 1/2 months . I am just finding it very hard to cope with everthing that i have to handle . I mean i am to young for all of these things to be holding me back . I was told that by the age of 23 i would be in a wheel chair full time . That has not happened but i am in one alot of the time and i have to use my cane and a walker but alot has to do with the pain . I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnal and i am running out of hope .But i know i can't let this illness take over and i know i can't give up but you have no clue how many times i have wanted too. I can't let this win i just hope i am storng enough to hold on to HOPE ..

Sick agian !

Hey well i am sick agian i have been this way for two weeks now and i am not getten any better i have had two rounds of meds for this upper resptory infection. All i know is that i am coughing like crazy, My sinuses hurt ,and my throat is killing me .

What makes to even worse is when i am sick i hurt like hell and non of my pain meds are worken for the pain plus i have tooth ach on top of all of this .

Well i am going back to bed C-YA

Holding on to hope

I try with all of my heart to belive that god has a plan for me , and that is why i must suffer but lately i find myself thinking that my life is more of a pain filled hell . I just can't understand why i have to suffer so much , what i have i done worng that god is maken me live a life of pain.My doctor's don't know what to give me to take the pain away, they don't know why i am haven chest pains , or why i am haven these headachs that have been going on now for 2 1/2 months . I am just finding it very hard to cope with everthing that i have to handle . I mean i am to young for all of these things to be holding me back . I was told that by the age of 23 i would be in a wheel chair full time . That has not happened but i am in one alot of the time and i have to use my cane and a walker but alot has to do with the pain . I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnal and i am running out of hope .But i know i can't let this illness take over and i know i can't give up but you have no clue how many times i have wanted too. I can't let this win i just hope i am storng enough to hold on to HOPE ..

So many dame pill's

This is my pill bag. this is every day.

I am so sick i needing to take so many dame pill's it never stop's . I think i am up to 13 aday now and that is not counting my 3 for pain ! Those don't even help anymore and i can't go to pain mangament because my health incsurnce will not pay for it . So i am stuck in pain hell ! I can't rember the last time i wasn't in pain.

Here is what i have to take-

Lortab 10/500 , Flexeril 10mg , Klor-con M20 20MEQ , Doxepin 25mg, Propranolol 40mg , Zantac 150 mg, Midodrine 5 mg, Fiorinal , Tigan 300 mg, Citalopram 20 mg , Gabapentin 300 mg, Meclizine 25 mg, Micronor pack 0.35mg , Centrum Cardio , Baby aspirin 81mg , loratdine 10 mg.

That is all of them .

Still dosen't get it !!!

you know my dad still dosen't get that i am in chronic pain all the time i could be layen down because i am hurting and he still asked me to get up and do crap . I ask why can't you do it and i will get ( because i am asken you to do it ) or ( i hurt) Give me a break !! i know normale people hurt too but this pain is nothing like the pain i have to deal with day in and day out .

Yes i do things not because i wanted to but because i have to i have to pull myself out of bed every moring and go to doctor's , shoppen and other stuff even if i am hurting like hell and still no one get's it . I am on 4 things for pain one is for neavr pain and one is for muscle pain and then there is some thing for my head achs and then my pain pain.


So when you say you hurt and think i am going to feel sorry for you , GEUSS AGIAN !! Your pain goes away Mine DOSEN'T !!!!!!