I WON!!

Well my day has come and i have finally won my S,S case !!! I can't belive it ! it's been 6 years and now i am soo happy . I will be able to go to doctors that i need to see have my med's all paid for . so i am just happy . i know this is short but i have the flu and i am back off to bed ..

Heart clinc @ ALL CHILDRENS HOSPITAL

Well i got to ach at 9:30 am and i got checked in to the heart clinc and they did my EKG and stuff but when it came to my Bp amd heart rate we had a big scare. My Bp was 160/100 that is very bad and my heart rate was 105 so they did it two times and it was the same so they put me in a room and then doctor martinze came in and asked how i was feeling . I told him i was feeling very rundown my chest was hurten and stuff and then he saw what i chart said ! I though the poor man was going to hite the floor he said your bp has never been this high . so he went and got the nurse and he said your not leaven yet we have some stuff to do .So i had to go to 3north on the other side of the builden and get labs and a chest x-ray STAT !! well i got them done and half way back to the office i got a very bad headach and so when i told the girls i was back i just layed down on the row of chairs and then they took my Bp agian and it was 158/90 heart rate 96. so the nurse told me to lay on the table and she turned out the light for me . Dr. martinze and Dr. F came in and talked with me and all my labs were ok but one my infulmation (sp) one was high so i am now on mobic for the chest pain and i just now got off the phone with the on call doc because my Bp is back up agian so i have a feeling i will be back at ACH on monday !! Oh and i am on a 24 hour heart montior till then too .. fun fun !!

Keepen Hope Alive

I try with all of my heart to belive that god has a plan for me , and that is why i must suffer but lately i find myself thinking that my life is more of a pain filled hell . I just can't understand why i have to suffer so much , what i have i done worng that god is maken me live a life of pain.My doctor's don't know what to give me to take the pain away, they don't know why i am haven chest pains , or why i am haven these headachs that have been going on now for 2 1/2 months . I am just finding it very hard to cope with everthing that i have to handle . I mean i am to young for all of these things to be holding me back . I was told that by the age of 23 i would be in a wheel chair full time . That has not happened but i am in one alot of the time and i have to use my cane and a walker but alot has to do with the pain . I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnal and i am running out of hope .But i know i can't let this illness take over and i know i can't give up but you have no clue how many times i have wanted too. I can't let this win i just hope i am storng enough to hold on to HOPE ..

Sick agian !

Hey well i am sick agian i have been this way for two weeks now and i am not getten any better i have had two rounds of meds for this upper resptory infection. All i know is that i am coughing like crazy, My sinuses hurt ,and my throat is killing me .

What makes to even worse is when i am sick i hurt like hell and non of my pain meds are worken for the pain plus i have tooth ach on top of all of this .

Well i am going back to bed C-YA

Holding on to hope

I try with all of my heart to belive that god has a plan for me , and that is why i must suffer but lately i find myself thinking that my life is more of a pain filled hell . I just can't understand why i have to suffer so much , what i have i done worng that god is maken me live a life of pain.My doctor's don't know what to give me to take the pain away, they don't know why i am haven chest pains , or why i am haven these headachs that have been going on now for 2 1/2 months . I am just finding it very hard to cope with everthing that i have to handle . I mean i am to young for all of these things to be holding me back . I was told that by the age of 23 i would be in a wheel chair full time . That has not happened but i am in one alot of the time and i have to use my cane and a walker but alot has to do with the pain . I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnal and i am running out of hope .But i know i can't let this illness take over and i know i can't give up but you have no clue how many times i have wanted too. I can't let this win i just hope i am storng enough to hold on to HOPE ..

So many dame pill's

This is my pill bag. this is every day.

I am so sick i needing to take so many dame pill's it never stop's . I think i am up to 13 aday now and that is not counting my 3 for pain ! Those don't even help anymore and i can't go to pain mangament because my health incsurnce will not pay for it . So i am stuck in pain hell ! I can't rember the last time i wasn't in pain.

Here is what i have to take-

Lortab 10/500 , Flexeril 10mg , Klor-con M20 20MEQ , Doxepin 25mg, Propranolol 40mg , Zantac 150 mg, Midodrine 5 mg, Fiorinal , Tigan 300 mg, Citalopram 20 mg , Gabapentin 300 mg, Meclizine 25 mg, Micronor pack 0.35mg , Centrum Cardio , Baby aspirin 81mg , loratdine 10 mg.

That is all of them .

Still dosen't get it !!!

you know my dad still dosen't get that i am in chronic pain all the time i could be layen down because i am hurting and he still asked me to get up and do crap . I ask why can't you do it and i will get ( because i am asken you to do it ) or ( i hurt) Give me a break !! i know normale people hurt too but this pain is nothing like the pain i have to deal with day in and day out .

Yes i do things not because i wanted to but because i have to i have to pull myself out of bed every moring and go to doctor's , shoppen and other stuff even if i am hurting like hell and still no one get's it . I am on 4 things for pain one is for neavr pain and one is for muscle pain and then there is some thing for my head achs and then my pain pain.


So when you say you hurt and think i am going to feel sorry for you , GEUSS AGIAN !! Your pain goes away Mine DOSEN'T !!!!!!